I find articulating reality a troublesome task. Nothing ordinary or mundane. Just in social situations.  So when someone in their right mind gets piqued by my apparent absence of affiliation to any institution as such it leads to the inevitable.

” Gap Yaaaaaar”

” Oh. Alright. The daring leap of faith huh.”

” Adolescent angst rages strong in young padawan”

Such exclamations are usually followed by more questions. Awkward silences. That oh so terrible advice that I frankly despise hearing somewhere between the sixteenth and seventeenth time. Why though? These people are asking all the right questions and after all the answer should exist by now. Well its simple. I don’t want to tell you. So i’m just going to write it out.

We all have different processes and different stimuli. We gauge our surroundings based on the stimuli thats been provided to us till date, and where does that come from? Schools and colleges (Ya Family and Friends too <3). We learn their english. We do their math and we make their moves through our bodies. I can rave and rant about the existing colonial structure of education and how when traced back unravels our absolute lack of any experiential or “real” learning in school. No matter how much convincing one can provide, our system simply lacks an alternative. Its a mumpy grumpy third world symptom i guess.

I ceased to be fascinated by this system at some point in college and completely detached myself for a while. I chose to disregard the norms and requirements of such a place despite the apparent contradictory nature of my actions i.e. doing nothing much with my time. It taught me how to teach myself. Thats the lesson I’m applying to my life over the next year. I’m a physics student switching over to law. I believe in a multidisciplinary approach to the universe and in the finicky choices of a bourgeoisie anteater. I’m working somewhere now and I’ll be somewhere else next week. I’d rather explore environments manic and lethargic than find myself moss coated and drinking stale brew. It took me around a year to reduce my mismatched interests in music , literature and a host of other things to something more human. In the midst of searching for something you’re passionate about, the real struggle for me was keeping it real.

The absolute nature of choices and the limited options can make it hazy but when I decided to step back and look at myself It was easier. Ideas excite me but when i break down a problem to the sum of its parts then what worries me the most is when something is dysfunctional. I just want to spend most of my time fixing those aspects of reality and solving problems faced by society and just writing down whatever keeps me awake. So here’s my lowdown on the next year. Im spending weeks studying these ideas in a more organised manner suited to myself. I’m picking out topics in history , economics, sociology etc. which are relevant to my areas of interest in the real world. Studying could mean spending mornings staring at images and watching documentaries or getting lost in someone else’s narrative. What’s different now though is that i’m just taking notes a lot more than I was before. Simultaneously I’m interning at places where I can gain the skills required to tackle problems through the preexisting framework. I’m training myself to be some sort of social mechanic? I’m not cent percent sure but that’s the point of this too.


Silvio loves to interrupt. Anyway. Rearrange this polydimensional puzzle till you fit inside yourself bro

Aman Roy

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